MY STORY

Hi Friends, be warned this blogpost will be a Wee Bit long..
If you don’t have much time, click here for the TL;DR Portion (Too Long Didn’t Read)

2011 – 2016

Bachelor of Dental Surgery, IIUM (International Islamic University Malaysia)

Introduction – Dentistry as a Second Choice My story begins here, rooted in a narrative that many can relate to – the tale of a typical Asian student with big dreams and even bigger expectations. Like countless others, I found myself at a crossroads after acing my SPM exams (equivalent to O level), facing the familiar pressure to pursue a career in the trifecta of esteemed professions: Engineering, Medicine, or Law.. After ruling out both Engineering and Law that leaves me with Medicine as the only choice. If it were up to me at that point of time my passion would be in pursuing arts, either in Visual Arts, Multimedia or Interior Design any of which would be a vehicle for me to bring me closer to my true dream of becoming a Mangaka.

Why you might ask? To put it simply, I was enthralled by the vivid world of manga, finding solace and inspiration in its pages. Growing up immersed in tales of adventure and heroism, I dreamed of becoming a mangaka, longing to craft stories that would ignite the imaginations of readers worldwide. Manga wasn’t just a hobby; it was a passion that fueled my creativity and shaped my aspirations, driving me to pursue a path where I could share my own stories and artistic vision with the world.

After much back-and-forth, I reluctantly relent to the suggestion of pursuing dentistry (its either Medicine and eventually becoming a Surgeon or Dentistry), lured by the promise of a more relaxed schedule that would afford me time to indulge in my passion – the dream of becoming a Mangaka. Little did I know, the road ahead would be far from smooth.

Facing the First Crisis:

As I made the decision to pursue dentistry, it felt like I was stepping into a world that wasn’t entirely my own. While my peers seemed to exude excitement about dissecting cadavers and memorizing medical terminology, I couldn’t shake the feeling of being out of place. Don’t get me wrong; I appreciated the intricacies of oral health and the importance of a confident smile. Still, deep down, my heart yearned for the freedom of expression found within the strokes of a pen or the lines of a manga panel.

Despite my reservations, I threw myself into my studies with determination, hoping that perhaps dentistry would prove to be more than just a means to an end. Yet, as the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, I found myself grappling with the reality that my passion for art was slowly being overshadowed by the demands of my chosen profession. The endless hours spent bent over textbooks and dental instruments left little time for creative pursuits, and the dream of becoming a Mangaka began to feel like a distant memory.

By the end of my first year of my undergrad, the rosy picture I painted of balancing dentistry with my artistic pursuits came crashing down. To tell you the truth I found fulfilment in creating arts, crafting stories and not being able to do so kills me.

The promised leisure time evaporated, leaving me feeling betrayed and adrift. It was my mother’s wise counsel that kept me from throwing in the towel, urging me to soldier on through the first-year professional exams before making any rash decisions. Phew… I eventually passed the professional exams and soldier on to the second year.

The Fateful Encounter: Wanting to avoid further dissatisfaction and resentment to my study, I decided for my own sake to put the Dream of becoming a Mangaka in a Hiatus. At least it was of my own choice not the circumstance… This minimize the frustration and anger I have towards my study and myself… This decision although brings relief but it brings about a state of LIMBO… As if part of my identity gone… So I go all into the identity that I have left .. “A Dental Student”

Then a fateful moment, during a typical respite in the dormitory common lounge…. Fate intervened. A chance encounter with a book, which I randomly choose from a random bookshelves alter the course of my life forever. As I delved into its pages, I stumbled upon words that echoed my own struggles, offering unexpected clarity and guidance. It was as if the universe had conspired to lead me to that exact moment, nudging me towards a path of self-discovery and determination.

In essence, the introductory parts of the fateful book the author recounted the story of a medical student who, much like myself, grappled with the weight of expectations and the desire to pursue passions beyond the confines of their chosen profession. The author advice to the medical student is for him/her to realized that before a person enter such a profession; to learn and excel in such field falls to “Collective Responsibility” of the Community (Fard Kifayah in Islamic Tradition) so it is an option for anyone to go into such field or profession. But once a person select into such profession (either via merit, choice, sponsored or under scholarship) it is no longer and option for him/here but it becomes an “Individual Obligations” (Fard Ain in Islamic Tradition). It means it has become an Obligation upon such person to do the best to their ability to excel in such field or profession as now the community will be dependent on the person expertise to help and serve them.

Such encounter is profoundly humbling and deeply appreciated. It feels as though the Creator is directly guiding and speaking to me, offering assistance in my time of struggle.

The Power of Influence: I made it my goal to finish reading the fateful book. As I read deeper, I have come to learn the need for a person to focus on things that is within a person control and learn to stop worrying on things that is beyond a person control. Prioritizing one person time, and effort on more immediate aspect in life.

Armed with newfound resolve, I embraced the concept of focusing on my “Circle of Influence” – a philosophy that would become my guiding principle in navigating life’s challenges. Serendipitously, I stumbled upon a transformative talk on “7 Effective Habits,” which further solidified my commitment to personal growth and development. (coincidentally just as I was finishing reading the book from cover to cover)

Multiple instance in my life since this moment that makes me a Firm Believer of this concept and principle in life… “Whenever we are STUCK or at an IMPASSE, Stop Worrying about things you Cannot Control.. Just focus on things that is Within your Control.. Work on it, Trust that you will reach a point where a Door Will Open and Nudge you into the Next Direction Forward”

Shaping My Future: As I continue my study, one aspect becomes apparent. I simply SUCKS in Clinical Dentistry. I struggle in almost every aspect of Clinical Dentistry you can Imagine… Pediatrics, Restorative, Prosthodontics , Endodontics, Surgery….

The STRUGGLE IS REAL… There is no aspect of Dentistry I can say with Confident that comes Natural to me.. I was not the best of student, on many occasions I narrowly passed with the help of my clinical supervisors and mentors.

Thus I start exploring things outside of Dentistry to find something I can call my own. These exploration brought me to Intellectual Discourse, Social Activism and Work & Learning and Volunteering in Non Profit. These experience culminates into be Co-Founding an environmental movement called “Green Mahallah Project” which at its core is a movement to advocate and educate for a more sustainable living as a student in and outside campus.

For the first time I feel at home and in the Zone.. I am Excel at this…

Just as I learn deeper on Dental Public Health, the knowledge and the lessons I learn from classes I translate it into the environmental movement.

Buoyed by the encouragement of mentors and fueled by a newfound passion for public health and policy-making, I embarked on a journey of exploration and self-realization. Despite the challenges of clinical dentistry, I found solace in my aptitude for problem-solving and my deep-seated desire to effect positive change.

Graduation and Beyond: With a degree in hand and a newfound sense of purpose, I entered the workforce under the Ministry of Health of Malaysia, confident that I had finally found my place in the world of dentistry. Little did I know, the journey was just beginning.

2017 – 2019

Work in Public Sector in Ministry of Health Malaysia

New Journey with Hope

As I embarked on my journey as a public servant, the prospect of a stable career was overshadowed by the uncertainty of a contract-based employment system. While I was thrilled to begin this new chapter, the realization that my future hung in the balance cast a shadow over my excitement. The pressure was on to prove my worth and secure a permanent placement within the allotted three years.

In 2017, amidst the whirlwind of professional challenges, I found solace in personal joy as I exchanged vows with my beloved. The promise of a new life together brought comfort amid the uncertainty of my career path. She is the Fire that keeps me going!!.

As 2018 rolls by, I am taken by surprised how fast time flies. It has been a year and thus far I am doing great. Completed my compulsory service and onwards to keeping the momentum. All I can say is that I love working in the public service – having a balance routine in clinical dentistry, doing health screening and promotions, doing outreach. I love it. I can see myself progressing in my career and, I can live with such routine for many years to come.

Despite all my efforts, no good news are on the horizon. In fact from what I heard then, less than half of us would be given permanent position in the Ministry of Health. Still I keep my head down and do what is necessary.

News that changes everything

Then my wife got pregnant with our first child. It is now 2019 and I am nearing the end of second year. Anxiety grew… What would I do moving forward if I am not absorbed into permanent position in MOH?

Many of my colleague started to send in their resignation letter and moves into private practice for better career prospects. Should I jump ship now? Should I abandon my dream of working in Policy Making?

Should I delay further and wait? Risking market saturation as more and more dental officer resign and enter private practice.

Confronted with uncertainty, I began to accept that I should never leave my fate into someone else hand.. I should begin my back up plan.. Going back and focusing All IN into Clinical Dentistry and not just being good but I need to be Great to compete in the private sector.

I am at a disadvantages comparing to my colleagues whom have made up their mind even during their undergrad to join private practice. With minimal resources at my disposal to learn and polish my clinical skills, I turn to online education resources.. Dental Town Forum, various Dental Related Podcast, Youtube were my primary resources.

During this time, I invested in Rotary Endo-motor and FCB Tray together with a close colleague working together at the same public dental clinic. These 2 tools are meant to equipped myself with an extra edge when I enter private sector.

We learn together via trial and error and to some extent get reasonably results with it and started to implement the lesson and cater service to patient in the public sector. (below is a video of Complete Denture Video achieving Suction, the first video is the case I successfully achieved Suction while working in Government Dental Clinic)

The only constant variable is Change!!

As I dip my toe in private service doing locum work, I was welcome with an opportunity to join a private practice. I was happy with the opportunity, but deep down I was a bit hesitant and sad. As it would means, giving up the dream in policy making; in Malaysia once you quit public sector it is going to be hard if not near impossible to rejoin.

As I grappled with the demands of impending fatherhood and the looming uncertainty of my professional future, the dream of pursuing a career in policy-making seemed more distant than ever. The harsh reality of the job market dashed my hopes of a seamless transition into a field aligned with my passions and aspirations.

I pray for guidance and somehow I can slowly accept that change is what is needed. I then replied and ask for a bit more time as I wrap up my responsibility in public sector (mind you I am holding a few portfolio at that time)

Finally made the difficult decision to transition into private practice, seeking refuge from the tumultuous landscape of contract-based employment. However, the challenges of the private sector proved to be just as daunting, if not more so, than those I had faced in the public sector.

Before long I tend my resignation letter and ready to start a new journey into private practice as I felt at the very least going to private practice my fate is more in own control and less dependent on others relative to staying in the public sector. By October 2019 I officially join the world of private practice.

With each passing day, I am reminded of the delicate balance between personal fulfillment and professional stability. While the road ahead may be fraught with challenges and uncertainty, I remain steadfast in my determination to carve out a path that honors my values and aspirations.

As I navigate the complexities of career and family life, I am reminded of the resilience and fortitude that have carried me through every twist and turn of my journey thus far. Though the future may be uncertain, I face it with unwavering resolve and an unwavering commitment to forge a life filled with purpose and meaning.

2019-Present Day

Working in Private Sector based in Penang

The Terrifying Transition into Private Practice

As the eve of the new year approached, my wife and I welcomed our first child into the world. Amidst the joyous occasion, I couldn’t shake off the undercurrent of anxiety that accompanied my transition into private practice.

Truth be told, the prospect of joining a clinic where I’d be working solo while my employer operated from a different branch was daunting. Balancing the demands of dentistry with the newfound responsibilities of fatherhood weighed heavily on my mind. Financial stability became paramount, forcing me to tread carefully and make strategic decisions.

By January 2020, I had begun to find my footing in the private practice landscape. But then, March 2020 brought with it an unforeseen obstacle – the lockdown and MCO (Movement Control Order). Just as I was starting to stabilize our family’s finances, the clinic had to shut down for 2-3 months, leaving us without income. It was a gut-wrenching setback that pushed me to the brink of despair. Yet, amid the darkness, the light of fatherhood kept me going.

The Lockdown and a New Creative Outlet

Trapped at home with no means of income, I turned to video-making as a creative outlet during the lockdown. Little did I know that this newfound hobby would reignite a passion within me. As I delved deeper into the world of video-making, I found myself immersed in a creative process unlike anything I had experienced before. Every aspect, from scripting to filming to editing, became a journey of self-expression and discovery. The more I honed my skills, the more I realized the limitless potential of this medium to convey ideas, evoke emotions, and connect with others on a profound level.

Embracing video-making allowed me to channel my storytelling instincts and artistic flair in a new and exciting way. Just as I once meticulously crafted each panel of my manga to convey emotion and narrative depth, I now meticulously edited and crafted each frame of my videos. In a way I manage to reignite the same feeling and passion of drawing a manga and channel it into a new medium serving the same end goal of telling a story and inspiring others.

Burnout and the Wake-Up Call

As Covid-19 cases decreased and restrictions eased, our practice reopened its doors. Despite the challenges, we were determined to not only survive but thrive in the aftermath of the lockdown. To our surprise patient flow steadily increased, boosting our spirits and reaffirming our commitment to excellence.

However, the relentless pace of work began to take its toll on my physical and mental well-being. Ignoring warning signs, I pushed through the pain, neglecting my health in pursuit of perfection in dentistry. Then it happen, I still remember vividly. One day trying to wake up pulling myself but I just can’t, my whole body felt painful. Shooting sciatica pain as I try

It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom, grappling with chronic pain and burnout, that I realized something had to change. Such is the fate of us Human, we tolerate Pain for fearing the Pain of Changing, only we reach a point the “Nett Pain” of Not Changing vs Changing is more where we typically makes the changes. I had to make a change not for my own sake by my family as well, as this point in time due to circumstance my wife transition to a full time housewife. Thus the Goal Save my Body in the hope to Save my Career was born out of necessity.

Game Changer – Magnification

Enter magnification. Discovering the transformative power of operative microscopes opened my eyes to a new approach in dentistry. I still remember when tuning in to an episode of “Dentistry Uncensored”. The guest dentist share his story on how he eventually settle and use Operative Microscope (OM) for almost 99% of Dentistry. He share his routine of just another day using the Microscope to extract fracture root tip. This is truly bizarre yet inspiring story, shatters my self limiting belief that OM is just for Endo and I can never perhaps have the opportunity to use it unless I decided to become and Endodontist.

Inspired by this and believing it is the key to saving my own body and my career, I embrace magnification wholeheartedly. I embarked on a journey of ergonomic improvement and self-discovery. I spend the next few month surveying and testing available dental loupe brands in Malaysia, to my despair none fit 100% of my needs. If it excel in one area, it is deficient in others. I was about to give up until a dear friend of mind who are also on board with my ergonomic journey (shout out IG dia) suggested Pentax. It was the first Deflection Technology Dental Loupe I have tested. At first it was a bit weird for me to be using it in such a straight posture. Everything else hit the mark, excellent declination angle, sufficient magnification with great the field of view and depth of field, good lens clarity and being fully customizable which allow resell value.

I was worried of the weight due to its sturdy built quality, but after the sales person tighten the head strap the weight issue is almost negligible. I was sold right a way…

It is perhaps the single biggest purchase I ever made in a heart beat that give the highest return on investment to me ever!. Period!!

Been using it ever since with minor issue here and there. I did make a video review here.

I should make a new video after 3++ year use review. But I haven’t got around that. Perhaps somewhere in the near future.

Next chapter of improvement

With Magnification my Dentistry improves dramatically.

Despite initial challenges, finding the right dental loupe marked a turning point in my career. With improved clarity and ergonomic support, my dentistry flourished, and I regained a sense of vitality and purpose.

This newfound energy propelled me to explore other areas of self-improvement, including diet and intermittent fasting. With each positive change, I grew more confident in my abilities and more appreciative of the opportunities before me. I made it my mission to reclaim back my health, to get back my body I once have.

Change of Scene

Somewhere in 2022, I relocate to a another branch under the similar company. 3 Chairs runs with 2 other associate and myself. There the practice is geared to more Orthodontics, and much more fast paced. On average 15 minutes appointment for Orthodontic Reviews, 60 minutes or less for a restorative appointment. If I have a Denture or Crown appointment patient, because of the culture of scheduling done here, to get a follow up appointment will taken another 1 month plus if not more. I still remember at one point one particular patient whom I did 2 PFM Crown and a Set of Upper and Lower Chrome Cobalt Denture took about 8 month total of appointment time. Although it is a job well done, the let down regarding the time is really palpable

All in all I welcome the change of scene but because of the constant frantic scheduling with no open gap for me to breath and take the time to think slowly, map out treatment plans. I reach a breaking point. The issue of pack schedule worsen as 2 of the previous associate quits.

Breaking Point

The breaking point arrived on a Christmas Public Holiday in 2022, when my in-laws was gathered in Penang for a holiday, but I was stuck at work, trying to maintain a cheerful demeanor for my patients while feeling miserable inside. The realization hit hard – if I continued like this, I’d be condemning myself to a lifetime of misery, trapped in the same job, doing the same routine, and feeling stuck as a dentist. Still I prevailed for the hope of one day join into the practice as a partner..

In 2023, that dream was shattered when I learned there were no plans for new partnerships until the company went public. It was a massive shock, as I had been patiently working towards this goal, believing it to be the culmination of my efforts and dedication.

Disillusioned and disheartened, this experience plunged me into a dark place, causing me to withdraw from anything related to dentistry. I spent time soul-searching, contemplating my future, and envisioning the life I truly wanted for myself and my family. For those who knows me will realized that this is the period where I took a hiatus from my Instagram.

Healing Journey In a way, this emotional trauma is a curse and a blessing. As its painful enough that the pain of asking and re-examining my life is not as painful.

With the help of Self Guided Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and Mindfulness and Breathwork Exercise I began to do internal exploration, journey into the altered state of mind. Some call it shadow working. Through practices such as mindfulness and breathwork, I tapped into altered states of consciousness, unlocking hidden reservoirs of wisdom and insight. As I delved deeper into the mysteries of the mind, I unearthed a newfound sense of clarity and purpose, guiding me towards a path of healing and transformation.

Pairing both Subconscious and Conscious Tools in Self Examination, I began to heal from this traumatic episode.

The journey wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. In 2023, I emerged from the darkness with a renewed sense of purpose and clarity. Ready to embrace dentistry once more, I embarked on a mission to share my insights and experiences through a personal blog and website.

Today, as I stand on the threshold of a new chapter, I am filled with gratitude for the trials and tribulations that have shaped me. The road ahead may be uncertain, but I face it with a newfound sense of resilience and optimism. This is the origin story of Distilling Insight & Dentistry, a testament to the transformative power of perseverance and self-discovery.

As a token of appreciation you read this far. Here I include a few free gift
– Click here for my free e-book “5 Productivity Tools”

TL;DR Version

• 2011-2016
  • Dreamed to be a Mangaka and choose Dentistry, because it was the “easier route” vs Medicine
  • Started dentistry reluctantly, and struggled with feeling out of place and balancing dentistry with artistic passions.
  • Reach a point to put dream of being a Mangaka aside to pursue my study, which triggered a “Limbo State”
  • Fate intervened and encounter transformative book – “Learn to Focus on Circle of Influence”
  • Found a passion in social activism, co-founded “Green Mahallah Project.”
  • Despite struggles in clinical dentistry, excelled in problem-solving – discover interest in Dental Public Health.
  • Words of encouragement by a Mentor and found a Niche in Dentistry in Public Health and Dreamed to become a Policy Maker.
    
• 2017-2019
  • Started off in dentistry as a public servant with uncertainty looming, due to contract-based employment.
  • Found solace in personal joy as I got married in 2017, but professional uncertainty loomed.
  • Despite enjoying work in public service, faced uncertainty of permanent placement.
  • Wife’s pregnancy in 2019 prompted consideration of career options.
  • Invested in improving clinical skills for potential transition to private practice.
  • Eventually transitioned to private practice for more control over career fate.
  • Despite challenges, remain determined to forge a fulfilling career aligned with personal values.
    
• 2019-Present Day
  • Started private practice amidst excitement of becoming a father, but anxiety about solo work and financial stability loomed.
  • Lockdown in March 2020 led to financial strain and forced reevaluation of career.
  • Discovered passion for video-making during lockdown, reigniting creativity and providing new outlet.
  • Struggled with burnout and chronic pain, prompting a shift towards ergonomic dentistry.
  • Embraced magnification and found game-changing improvement in dentistry.
  • Relocated to another branch in 2022, faced intense scheduling pressures and reached breaking point.
  • Realized dissatisfaction with current career trajectory, shattered dream of partnership in 2023.
  • Took hiatus for self-reflection and embarked on healing journey through mindfulness and therapy.
  • Emerged in 2023 with renewed purpose, ready to share insights and experiences through personal blog.