Sunday Deep Work Disruption
Last Sunday, I planned to dedicate a few hours to prepare for my upcoming webinar. Planning to have a meaningful “Deep Work” session so I can get meaningful progress and get it done once and for all. . . .
Instead, I ended up with only 1.5 hours of productive work despite my initial plan to dedicated the whole day to focus on my work. Why?
Because my child kept asking me to play. At first, I was frustrated, but then my child said something that struck a chord:
“Playing with daddy is the best because you have so many ideas.”
It was clear that every time we played, I was responsible for ensuring it was fun and engaging. It seems to a child eye, being able to conjure up endless story of pretend play is magical. But I am in no mood to pretend play today..
Taking this as a challenge, I embraced my role as a father. Finding new games to play is tough, but I managed to come up with three new ones on the spot: Dino Pencil Battles, Alphabet Treasure Hunt, and Mario Kart Dice. (Games I cobble together from my life experience and adding a twist or two)
(Some of the games we played)
We started playing for what was supposed to be a quick 30 minutes, which soon turned into an hour, and before I knew it, we had been at it for over two hours. Deep down, I felt frustrated about not being able to focus on my “Deep Work.” However, seeing my child’s restlessness and realizing they were trying to milk every last bit of attention and time, knowing weekends are our special time together, helped put things into perspective.. So I made an intentional sane choice, to just focus on having a quality family time.
Later that evening, my wife and I watched the movie “Rudy Habibie,” and it prompted me to reflect on the moments when Rudy’s father taught him valuable lessons. His father’s vision and teachings deeply influenced Rudy, shaping his drive and determination. The movie struck a deep chord with me. Am I being a good parent to my son? Apparently not good enough…
This movie is a sequel to “Habibie & Ainun” and dives deeper into Rudy Habibie’s early life. Several scenes and quotes moved me, especially when Rudy’s father advised him, “Jadi mata air, beri manfaat pada orang. Kalau air jernih maka bersih dan memberi manfaat..” (Be like a spring, providing benefits to others. If the water is clear, it will be clean and beneficial).
As Rudy grew up, he learned about Indonesia’s vast archipelago and envisioned connecting the islands via airplane, initially to help his family because his grandparents lived far away. This vision expanded into a dream to build Indonesia’s aviation industry, becoming his true north while studying in Germany. The movie is inspiring, telling the story of a real-life person who made a significant impact.
Reflecting on my own parenting journey, I wondered what kind of seeds I was planting in my child’s mind.
As for myself.. I couldn’t pinpoint any specific moments that ignited my passion, possibly explaining why I lacked drive during my undergraduate studies. ..
I never completed reading any dental textbooks during my five years of full-time study.
Contrasting that with now, having found a partial drive to become a great GP, I have read numerous textbooks over the past five years, some cover-to-cover, others more tactically.
(Picture of some of my Dental Textbook Collections)
Truly, having direction paired with a clear vision and hunger is the only way to become successful and a game-changer. As for me, let’s just say I am still in the midst of charting my course.
Reading deeper on parenting, I learned that ages 7-10 are prime years to cultivate seeds for direction (vision and hunger). So, there is still time. I am not late…
Parenting in June-July: A Reflection
June and July have been all about parenting for me. Since May, I’ve felt lost and unsure of how to manage my son’s constant demands for attention and play. Am I a bad parent for thinking this way? Truth be told, I never read any parenting books or materials with serious vigor. Most of my parenting know-how to date has been through “trial and error.”
One tipping point for me to seriously plug my knowledge gap in parenting was when I lost control and patience after my son’s incessant demands to play. This led me to devour three parenting books in rapid succession. These were books my wife had bought, now collecting dust, but I finally decided to dive in.
I was astonished myself when I managed to gobble up these three books in four days. How did I do it? First, they were quite a light read, at least relative to the typical books I read.
Secondly, I read intensely, combining the skills I learned in May—effective mind mapping using Mind Mirror Technique and my decade-long practice of effective reading (both speed and deep).
Here are the mind maps I created on the subject of parenting from the books I read:
Many knowledge gaps were answered after reading these books, and I am more confident now. I have spent the time to build a “Parenting” Knowledge Framework that can be used for a lifetime of learning.
I am sharing this not to brag, but rather as an archive for myself. Revisiting it from time to time, when I feel stuck or down, cheers me up. At least it serves as evidence that I am making progress, despite how I feel otherwise.
Based on reading.. Here are some of the plans I successfully executed June-July month:
1. Parenting Books and Notes: A snapshot of the parenting books I’ve been reading and my notes.
2. Star Board – Transparency & Reviewing together : Star is not just for my son. Both of us my wife & myself included in the assessment. – old star reward + reward yg dah dapat2 sebelum ni. (Paw Patrol Tower)
3. Game Journal: Just started. To document ideas I came up on the spot.
4. Projects with Marwan: (selang seli gambar)
– Tower of Books: Our book stacking project, to expand his mind that we can even use books and other objects to build something not just using lego, blocks, or magnetic tiles. Secondly is to inculcate him the love for books.
– Quality Time: A visit to the Tropical Fruit Farm, but unable to go to farm due to scorching heat. Plan to revisit it later on, much earlier in the morning
– Print and Play: Bought a laminator to create print-and-play activities, reducing gadget dependency. We’re revisiting these activities and creating cards for fun filler time without gadgets. Some of Simple PnP card games I manage to print & laminate – in my pouch.. part of my EDC.
(Numbster – best pocket game that can be played in hand)
(I throughly enjoy the puzzle elements in Unsurmountable)
– Adventure Books: Playing with adventure books. He cannot get enough of it. Deep Down I am happy he is able to enjoy playing puzzle from books rather than passively consuming media from a screen.
– Laminated Busy Book: so when I need to do deep work, my son can also join me doing his deep play using it.
5. In Progress
– Dino Card Game – converting a plain poker card game to a Dino Theme Card Game – integrating various modern games like – Hanamikoji, Condottiere, Uno, The Mind, Fugitives.. etc. (Multi card game – one box carries multitude of games can be played with it).
So if we travel or have an outing without gadget – all of us can have fun playing it. One box to contains all the funs games for the whole trip.
Final Say
Even though my progress on the webinar, website, and Instagram has been non-existent, looking at these small wins makes me appreciate the progress I’ve made in parenting.
One incident that really stuck with me was the night after our fruit farm visit. My child hugged and kissed me, saying,
“Thanks, Daddy, for being a good daddy to Marwan.”
These moments remind me that while professional progress is important, the small victories in parenting & in life are just as valuable.. perhaps even more so.
